Saturday, July 12, 2008


One day this week, at 7 pm, my boss decided he needed a new dentist. Right then. One he could see the next morning. Don't bother trying to explain to him that dentist offices close around 5 pm like most Normal Industries outside of Hollywood. When he decides he is going to do something, he is a fricking unstoppable force. To be honest, I'm quite jealous of his determination.

I also attempted to explain to him the difference between a text message and an email, which turned out to be very difficult. See, text messages go to your phone, but if you have a blackberry, so do emails. "You can get both on your phone," I explained. "But I can only get text messages on my phone."

"What kind of phone do you have?" He asked, astounded. There are people in this world without blackberries?

Later the head of the Interactive Media Department came in to help identify the little icon that distinguishes texts from emails, and I sent my boss the message, "This is what a text message looks like."

He had a similar response when my friend and I came back into the office a little early from lunch. "Didn't you go to lunch?" he asked, similarly astounded.

"Yeah, but it was getting hot in the park," I said.

"Don't you go out to lunch?"

We laughed. "We're assistants," my friend said.

"We make pennies."

"You don't go out to lunch?" It was as if we never blinked or something.

And once again I realized that the older and richer you get, the less you have to know about life. The technology is one thing; he was an agent before computers were invented, so I have to let that go a little. And he really does try to learn, which is cute. Plus, he knows how to conference phone lines, which is sort of impressive. But this man probably has no idea how to do laundry or put gas in his car. I bet he hasn't made his own lunch in 35 years.

Part of me wants to have people do all the little stuff for me someday. I mean, imagine how easy life would be...but I feel like I would kind of lose touch with humanity, you know?

Though if "humanity" resides in all the crappy apartments I've been looking at this week, peace out. Bring on the money and the minions.

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Unknown said...

This made me smile ... it's so true but so infuriating at the same time. You wonder how these people function day to day.

The the worse thing is that you can't even feel superior because you know that at the end of the day you are the lackey running around serving their every whim

? said...

LOL, awesome.

Alex said...

What's the difference between a text message and an email? The latter is (normally) free.
Now let's explain this basic concept to a boss! :D

Dan Williams said...

It can be funny to see how clueless someone is about this or that. I never studied computers at school so it's been a stretch the last twenty years!

But the thing is, we're all clueless about a lot. That's why a company is a TEAM. You can do stuff your boss can't while he can do some things you and I can't. You play to your strengths. Each person does what they can and makes trades with others so that we can all get by.

When I see that I can do something somebody else can't or I know something they don't, I just help them out. It's just automatic now. They need the help, I do what I can. And the (hidden) reward is, that they know something I don't and are probably helping me along and I don't realize it.

(Besides, people with problems make great characters to write about.)

Ma Please said...

Hilarious. Well not really. I don't care to be polite; your boss is an out-of-touch a-hole. Anyone who expects to be catered to, boss or not, is an overgrown child.

Entertaining post at least.

Anonymous said...

haha.. Amanda, your boss definitely couldn't function with you.

Amanda said...

my boss is actually very nice and easy to work for. and he constantly supplies me with hilarious material.

TL said...

Massimo, I assume you don't work in the entertainment industry, where nearly every "boss" (however nice or not-so-nice they may be) are out-of-touch, overgrown children who expect to be catered to.

writerjoel said...

Amanda, did you vet this post with your boss first? It's certainly not overly critical, but I was curious if your boss was cool enough that he would say, "Sure, call me techno-autistic with a side of pampered."

A thin skin might glare at you.

I'd like to think he's just super cool about his own blind spots.

Matt said...

It is tough working for someone when you think you're smarter than he (or she).

I think the best thing you can do is, don't forget this when you're rich and successful. So many people have a frat (or sorority) house mentality, that the pain is a hazing which should be passed on from generation to generation.

Break the cycle of stupidity!

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Ma Please said...

TL, you're right. I haven't worked in the entertainment industry, but a-hole bosses exist every where. I've had a number of them. Try out the Fitness Industry; those guys are the king-shits of a-holes. We have to accept them, but let's call a spade a spade. No?

Some Audio Guy said...

Used to work at a talent agency, and went through the same BS. The head agent would walk around and comment that we should be paying him for the excellent education in business we were getting. He was SO OLD I don't know if he was kidding. At $7/hr it kind of doesn't matter.

The dues we pay right?

Now that I'm out of there, if I achieve ANY measure of success, I hope I remember not to become that. I hope that d-bag cycle dies with me...